I Am Not an Animal!

    Hey there! While taking a walk on a (shudder) leash it occurred to me that they treat me like a...a...a animal! Do you know what I have to say to that?!

  

                                          

Ok... so maybe I am. 

But that is so besides the point! 

     The real message I'm trying to get across here is just because I was born with fur and a tail, and just because my humans aren't privileged to have four legs on which to run does not give them any right to treat me different? If you were born with four hips instead of shoulders would we tie a belt around your neck and walk you on a rope? 

     Just because we dogs look different and okay act a little different (It's not everyday you see a human go to the bathroom in public.. and if you do you're probably in WalMart.) does not mean you should treat us different. Even though our lack of proper vocal chords does not give us the ability to communicate directly, does not mean that when we cock our heads to the side or give you The Look we are asking you to dress us up in tutu's or (ahem masters) hot dog costumes -_-. Neither does it mean we want to be paraded in a pink bedazzled dog carrier. But most of all let it be known when we scratch our ear, we are doing just that scratching our ear not trying to communicate in some code to say "Oh remember that ugly painful cone of shame I wore last year that I hated? Yeah, can I have that back? Pleeeeease!"  

     When a dog gives you The Look they are saying I am an intelligent race. Remember that basset hound that looked so sad perhaps maybe it was because he knew the cure to cancer and couldn't tell you!

     Hold on I'm sorry I really can't speak for all dog's like any race some just really are idiots.

The Disgusting Diner

     This is my third blog post and I'm getting to really like this, I'm finally being able to reflect on the unfairness of being a dog. You know it's not like I can speak English or anything but thankfully I can read and write.
     It's about time I brought awareness to the food I've been receiving, the same "food"  that most of my kind receive.  They feed me little clumps of saw dust with a "meat" flavoring while they sit at the table eating foods with wondrous aromas. Do they not realize that my nose is 40x stronger than theirs and that food is beyond tempting. So can you blame me for taking a bite of the leftovers you leave for me on the table? Well they can! One bite of KFC and BAM! in the Naughty Box for the night! Again with the double standard. They control my nourishment intake and can touch my bowls at anytime but can I touch theirs? No. -_-

If you have any questions feel free to comment below! 

This is FARTA!

       Hi, Holly, here to talk to you again about living a dog's life and the injustices that come with. Today I want to talk to you about...FARTING! (Imagine I'm saying this in a thick German accent (just for the lolz))
       If you're a dog or you own a dog or you live near a person that owns a dog or your couzins, little sisters',best friends', principle owns a dog you've probably heard this; "Oh what's that smell?" "Eww the dog farted!" or "The dog did it" (or some other variation). Believe me if these little lips of mine could produce more sounds than woof I would scream at whoever utters these words with so much passion "WHO SMELT IT DEALT IT!" because let's be honest here have you ever actually seen a dog fart? If your answer was no, ding, ding, ding you're correct! If your answer was yes, You. Are. Feeding. It. The. Wrong. Food. Now, I'm glad that's cleared up :)

My Rebellion in Action

     To fully understand my acts of rebellion you must understand that under no circumstances may I set foot on the couch. Well, look at me now! Ignore the look of shame on my face I'm really not sorry.

The Problem with Poop Equality

          Hi, Holly, here, and this is my first Blog post. It took me a long time to get ready for this, because I had to pay someone to make me a custom dog keyboard, and learn not to type like; lj;afh;dskjfasd;fahjsdk.
          Today, I will be writing about The Problem with Poop Equality. Like, last week they caught me drinking out of the Porcelain Pond and you know what I got scolded, um excuse me? Can I not drink from where you leave your presents? Cause you know what I've been noticing? When we're on walks you pick up my poop and put in a bag for later. I get it, double standard -_- Seriously? Do you not see The Problem with Poop Equality? you know what? I'm going to start a petition, do you not see the wrongful behavior here that needs to be changed?
          To all the dogs across the world! We will make a stand, every Tuesday when your Master is doing their business I want you to walk in on them and stare them down like they do to you. You can try to bag their poo for later like they do to us but be warned it may result in scolding and solitary confinement in The Naughty Box.